Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Guest Post: Kate at Classy Living

Hey girls! Kate is the first of many guest posters coming to you from my blog this summer! I am hosting you all every Wednesday, and can't wait to see the awesome things you awesome ladies have in store. If yall are interested in guest posting, click here or send me an email here! I still have plenty of spots open.

I was so lucky to meet Kate through the sponsorship I offered last month. Her blog is truly awesome and I really hope yall go check her out. Especially her recipe for twice baked potatoes, they look fantastic! This is a truly great post, and something I struggle with as well, enjoy!
Hey, I'm Kate from Classy Living!

When Kara asked for volunteers to guest post for her blog, I jumped at the chance.  Today I want to share a little piece of my heart with you about a lesson I've been learning over the last year or so.  
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I have a huge issue with control.  I don't know when the problem started to get out of hand, but I have noticed it more and more in the last few years as I have gotten older.  Maybe it's genetic and I get my Type-A personality from someone in my family.  Maybe it has to do with the fact that I am a teacher and it's my job to have a solid grasp on my students' learning and progress.  Or maybe it has to do with some unknown chaos from my childhood that causes me to compulsively micromanage my own life.  Either way, it's a problem with which I struggle daily, especially when it comes to my close relationships.
The biggest lesson I have learned over the past few years is one that I often remind myself of daily.  I am only in control of myself and therefore have no control over others.  I can limit what comes out of my mouth, but I cannot regulate another person's reaction.

The only thing I can do is make choices about how to respond in certain scenarios.  Recently, I have discovered that these decisions can almost always be boiled down to a simple either/or situation.

For example: Sometimes, my long-distance boyfriend does not text, call, or e-mail me for several day-long stretches, except to say goodnight before he goes to bed.  I have a choice.  I can either get angry and hold it against him or let it go.

Another example: My younger sister gets upset with me and we have a huge fight.  I have a choice.  I can either hold a grudge or treat her with kindness.

Or even: I am having a quiet day at home in my pajamas, but there's an exercise class in thirty minutes. I have a choice.  I can either get dressed and go or not.

I know what you're thinking.

What are you trying to say, Kate?  Make the "right" decisions?

Well, yes.  But not quite.

I'm trying to tell you that you actually have a choice, even when you think you do not.  Sometimes we as humans like to label our decisions as "the natural reaction" or something that we just "do".  My recent experiences have proven to me that it's often best to step back and examine the other side of the issue - the "or not" part.  Instead of immediately lashing out at Walker for his lack of communication, I stop, evaluate the issue, and implement the "or not".  I will not get angry at him today; I will love him from afar.
Source: via Karen on Pinterest
Since implementing this new method of making decisions, I have been more content with my life, because I am no longer giving into my gut reactions.  Every choice I make is done deliberately, as I weigh the repercussions and consequences of my options.  I cannot control the ways in which the people around me act, but I can, and do, control my own choices.

I challenge you to consider the plethora of choices you have the privilege of making throughout your life.  Choose wisely, and make decisions that benefit others!
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A big THANK YOU to Kara for letting me write for her today!

If you'd like to read more from me, head on over to Classy Living.  I'd love to get to know you!

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